Breaking Habits

This past Sunday in small group we discussed things we learned about our spouse after marriage that we weren't aware of before. Most things mentioned were funny habits about one another that were usually neither good or bad, just unique characteristics. Rebecca told everyone that I'm kind of a messy eater when we are at home and how you can tell if I enjoyed the meal by how much remained on my face. I mentioned how Rebecca has restless foot syndrome in the morning and will rub her foot back and forth as she wakes up. Aside from bad manners and worn out sheets, no real harm done.

The stories from fellow small groupers reminded me of a lesson I had to learn in relationships. Rebecca and I have been married for over 2 years now and I still have to remind myself of this. Relationships in marriage, family, and friends can sometimes be brutal. I've noticed how easily frustrated people can become with one another the longer they've known each other. A seemingly insignificant thing can cause a huge argument. Sometimes these 'things' are the result of things deemed bad habits. A lot of times these 'bad habits' are not necessarily bad, just annoying to the other person.

I have seen in others and I know I have seen it in my own marriage, that I can let these things build up in me and become such a source of frustration. You marry someone having a pretty good idea who they are, but then there is so much more to learn. While you are dating its hard to find anything wrong with each other, then when you are married some have trouble finding anything good. I mean how often do you hear a person talk good about their spouse when the other is not around. Most of the time its just joking, but there's always some truth to a joke.

So the lesson I've had to remind myself is to not take someone's uniqueness as an annoyance. I married Rebecca because I love the person she is. So why after marriage would I try to change that personality? I think it is our nature to question things that our different than ourselves. So when we are constantly around that difference it starts to bug us. Sure there are things we need to keep each other accountable on and definitely build one another up in love. But I've noticed there are so many indifferent things that seem to bother us the most.

For instance. Rebecca and I differ on our sleep schedule. The nature of my work lends me to go to bed early and get going early to beat the hot portion of the day. Rebecca doesn't really have a set schedule. Her nature is to work real late (often after midnight) and then sleep later than most. It isn't that she is lazy. She actually works more hours than anyone I know. She just likes to sleep at a different range of hours than myself. This use to bother me because I've always been around the conventional wisdom of "early to bed, early to rise" mentality. So if you're sleeping in, then you are lazy and wasting time. The fact is she just works better at night and functions better during the day if she doesn't have to get up early. Why she can't just shift her body clock, I don't know. So rather than letting it bother me, I realized that's just who she is. Her sleep/work schedule is not wrong, its just different than my own. By changing it I'm not making her a better person, just more like myself.

We all have a sin nature so there are going to be things that need correcting from our spouse. But there are also lots of things that don't need changing, because that's just who we are. We are all created uniquely by God and made that way for a reason. We should rejoice in the nature of his creation, not get frustrated at it.

It definitely would be a boring place if we were all the same.

New Appliances

I've known this day would come. We had been talking about since we bought our condo last October. Sooner or later the appliances would need to be replaced. For Rebecca that day could not come soon enough. For myself, 'if its not broke, don't fix it.' Well, the oven finally broke. I'm still not convinced Rebecca didn't sabotage it somehow. It was a good ship though. I think it was original to when the building was constructed. A nice tan color with an analog clock. Since one bit the dust we decided to go ahead and replace all four. Rebecca enticed me with a "buy all four appliances, get 20% off sale." So it was goodbye to the white refrigerator, black microwave, and doesn't clean so well dishwasher.

Our kitchen is pretty small to begin with so we knew things were going to be a tight fit. Getting a decent size fridge with a water/ice dispenser in the door was my one request. Measuring the fridge in the store, we realized it was going to be a 1/4" taller and 2" wider than our opening. So rather than go smaller, we decided to make it fit. I took out a small portion of the countertop between the oven and the pantry so I could slide the oven over about 3 inches. I then moved the small cabinet over so our space was now wide enough. I then had to remove the above cabinet and sawed off about a 1/2" to make vertical clearance. The cabinet had a large lip on it, so its hard to notice anything's been removed.

The oven was the easiest install of the four. For the oven I had to rotate the outlet 180 degrees so it would fit in the opening of the new oven.

For the dishwasher I learned that the water valve under the sink does not turn off all the way leaving a constant drip. So I just let the new water line run back into the sink until the new dishwasher arrived. However, the drain pipe for the dishwasher was still connected to the clogged disposal in the sink. So one night when Rebecca was hand washing dishes, the disposal clogged up and water began to come out of the dishwasher drain pipe onto the floor. The noise of the water prevented her from hearing anything until she went into the garage and noticed the wet floor. So after I let things dry overnight, I was able to finally get the dishwasher in.

Today we finally had time for the microwave. I only messed up on one of the mounting holes. So after a couple of attempts we got it hung.

Our kitchen looks a lot different and I have my water/ice dispenser.

July 4th Weekend

The long weekend started out kind of rough for Rebecca and I. She got a cold somewhere between here and Utah and in turn passed it on to me. The worst of my symptoms hit on Friday. Dad had planned a big work weekend at a Tornado house, owned by Cornelius. I attempted to go work, but had to tap out early. I came home, took a long nap, and felt much better. I returned to the house on Saturday and helped with repairs. A massive oak tree fell on the middle of his house so the goal for the weekend was to build a new roof.

Rebecca's parents came in town for the weekend. So after church on Sunday we all went to Cornelius' house. About mid afternoon Dad gets a call from Matt. He and Loren were on their way to Memphis on I-22 when his back left tire popped. The civic spun off the road and slid into an embankment. Fortunately they went off the road at the perfect spot and only received damage to one additional tire. Much like Rebecca and my wreck several years ago, they were very fortunate. Playing the "what-if" game can get quite scary. Mr. Chip and I went as the rescue team and pulled them out of the ditch. The donut tire got them to Wal-Mart as we caught the tire guys right before closing time.

On Monday we took Rebecca's parents on a drive around town showing them some of our different photo venues. About the time they headed out, the rain settled in and stayed through the evening. It stopped just in time for Thunder on the Mountain. The wet weather kept the early crowds away so we were able to get a fairly good spot without getting there real early. The rain cooled the air off just enough to make it quite pleasant outside.

Thanks for Smoking Again

Smoking is in the news again.

Out of the few people who read this, almost all of the females commented about the grossness of the cancer smoking picture from a few months ago. Well I'm happy to report that these types images will soon be on all cigarette packs starting next year.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/06/21/fda-issues-graphic-cigarette-labels/

So now you can be grossed out all the time. Maybe a vomit bag should be included with each pack now?

Praying for Rain

Many aspects of our lives we base on expecting the weather to act a certain way. There are averages for everything that effect what you wear, outdoor activities, and how things grow. Being in the agriculture industry the weather is a daily factor in my routine. May and June are typically some of the most actively growing months of the year for turf under normal weather conditions. However, for the past month it has been extremely dry meaning the turf is not growing. Even turf that is irrigated doesn't seem to grow quite as well as that from rainfall. Turf that is not irrigated has reverted back into a state of dormancy, meaning it doesn't need to be maintained by me. Its feeling like a winter work schedule with some of the frequency I'm doing things. There are no restrictions on watering yet, but we are early in the summer. Fortunately, less time at my job means I can help Rebecca more with her business. Coming through he busiest month, there is plenty to do with her photography.

I know the rain will come and the Lord will provide.

"He covers the sky with clouds; he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills." -Psalms 147:8

It's like a Sauna in Here

Having to work outside, I feel like I am pretty acclimated to the heat. However, when I arrived home on Monday Rebecca made the comment that it felt pretty warm in the house. I checked our digital thermometer and sure enough it was 83 degrees inside. I knew that wasn't right and a quick check of the vents confirmed that no cold air was coming out. We were planning on replacing the unit anyways, but had hoped to make it to July when my A/C installing uncle from Minnesota would be in town. We thought we could tough it out the first night, but the temperature in our room was 91 at 10 PM. There was no way I would sleep restfully in that condition so we grabbed some essentials and came to my parents.

Its now Thursday evening and we're still at my parents. It looks like our 1 year home warranty will cover the replacement of the A/C, but we have to wait a little longer while the warranty company gets through the paper work. We're hoping for Monday.

Part of me wonders if we're getting too soft. It wasn't that long ago that no one had A/C. Now we consider a house unlivable without it. It sure is a nice invention though.

Role Reversal

I have been helping Rebecca since her very first wedding back in December of 2007 and haven't missed one since. I love helping her and being a part of all her photo endeavors. Rebecca keeps me around because we're married and I'm a cheap worker. She occasionally threatens to fire me, but I manage to survive.

We have talked several time about her coming to help me one day to see what my days are like. However she is usually super busy and it hasn't worked out. Well today she had plenty she could be working on, but did not have to be anywhere and I could use the help. So for her initiation to Longscape she helped me spread 75 bales of pine straw. Today was the first real hot and humid day which does not go well with pine straw. She was a trooper and a tremendous help. I thanked her several times throughout the day, because it would have taken me all day by myself.

We went out to eat afterwards and she got a milkshake. Then we got home we both took a two hour nap. I don't think I'll be able to retain her as an employee like she does me.